Stupid antics of an orc
by Zeschi das Mondkalb
Summary: I know I'm not supposed to post new chapters as seperate stories. BUT I'm at a bit of a loss with the hows and whys of chapter adding. *sigh* Such are the troubles of a new writer in this place. Anyhow, this is an addition to my existing story. It's funny again, or should be. Deals with one of my orc characters. Please read and review.


Author's notes: Hi folks! It's me again. I'll add a chapter to this story. That is…if you want me to continue. How did you like the first chapter? Love it? Hate it? Indifferent? Please give feedback.

This chapter will deal with an orcish character I once played. I'll change his name to Wak-wak gro-Icebrain. I don't dare use his original name. A certain rock band might get offended. Again this is meant to be a funny story. And it contains some spoilers for the quest "Lost in the past". So don't continue reading if you don't like that.

As I said, I'm pretty new to the writer's section and still grappling with the hows and whys and mysterious workings of . So please be patient. Anyhow, on with the story!

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Chapter 2: The stupid antics of an orc

Wak-wak gro-Icebrain, orcish dragonborn and not exactly the brightest candle on the cake, had read a book. A very difficult, scientific book with the grand title "The aetherium wars". The story dealt with some super-duper Dwemer mineral called aetherium and its presumed whereabouts.

"Huh, where's that stuff stashed away?", Wak-wak gro-Icebrain wondered. "A…Arkng-something. Bah, Dwemer and their damn tongue-twister names! But that mineral might be worth a journey. So I'll saddle up and go." Well, Wak-wak was situated in Whiterun, home sweet Breezehome to be exact. So it was a pretty long journey. Arkngthamz, the once-proud Dwemer city was situated in a remote corner of the Reach.

Wak-wak ticked the days of in his simple diary. Morndas: ambitious thief. Hasn't got workable hands anymore. Tirdas: dealings with a sabrecat. Fluffy, gorgeous fur! Middas: juniper berries be bitter. What comes after Middas? Oh botheration! Here I am at last. Arkng-something.

Wak-wak entered the ruin. Said ruin shuddered and quaked from time to time but Wak-wak didn't heed it. He walked along the corridor of hewn stone, crossed the fallen pillar over the brook and suddenly heard voices. Well…one voice at least. Not because Lord Sheogorath did a number on his brain. But…

"Go away. Leave this ruin. It's not safe here!" That was definitely a woman's voice. A very worried, very dead spirit woman as it soon became clear. Katria was her name and she was worried but also hugely frustrated. She had tried to do research and excavations in Arkngthamz but had triggered a trap while trying to open a door. Said trap consisted of a FREAKING EARTHQUAKE! The whole ruin was shaking like mad, Katria tried to run for it. But the ground suddenly opened beneath her feet and she fell a long, long way to her death. But her spirit was still bound to Arkngthamz as she couldn't prove whether there _was_ such a thing as aetherium or not.

Poor Katria told Wak-wak all of this. But he soon got bored and took a look at the huge chasm. "Hmmm… I wonder if it's as deep as it looks.", Wak-wak said. Katria looked at him, first questioningly, then alarmed.

"Oh no! Please don't tell me you're about to…" But Katria couldn't finish her complaint. Wak-wak gro-Icebrain had already broken into a jog, which soon became a full-blown run despite all his bulk of heavy armour. Wak-wak jumped off at the rim of the chasm, arms and legs spread-eagled and shouted "Geronimoooo!" And he dropped like a stone. Miliseconds later, there was a heavy *thud*, a nasty *crunch* and a muttered "Ouch!"

A short while later again, the lately deceased Wak-wak gro-Icebrain found himself in Malacath's little corner of Oblivion. And the old brute put away his huuuuge warhammer, crossed his arms in front of his chest, frowned and finally growled: "Welcome home you oaf."

Meanwhile in the ruins of Arkngthamz, Katria's spirit face-palmed her airy head thrice in a row. "Great, just great!", she started to rant. "Who's going to help me with my unfinished research _now_?" At first, there was the silence of stale, dusty air. But then, Katria heard a tell-tale scuttling and clicking of chitin. A chaurus made his appearance! "You… _you're_ going to help me?", Katria asked disbelievingly. The chaurus bounced up and down on all six legs, scuttled in circles about her feet and nodded enthusiastically. "That's about the strangest company I ever had. Well let's move.", Katria said.

But in front of the computer screen, silly little me rolled my eyes. I blew out a breath, drummed my fingers on the keyboard and groused at last: "Oookay. Let's just reload the last savegame slot and pretend this never happened."

automatic word count says 754


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